Before the retreat with Saunskruti, I knew I was measuring my worth based on my success, and I didn’t feel successful. I’ve felt anxious, conscious, and been self-critical for a very long time now. I was a few months out of a breakup, which was in part because of my meltdown and anxiety, and being unable to accept myself. I wanted a release. I wanted something transformational. I did find options in Uttarakhand/Himachal Pradesh but… those were also very far. Then, while I was researching farmstays near Mumbai, Insta showed me Utopia Farmstay where I found Saunskruti’s retreat.

I didn’t know what to expect. I was a mix of excited, nervous, slightly scared. But the description of the retreat felt soothing, and I went for it.

When I came back after 7 days, I was not measuring myself by my success. I was… just… happy, more loving towards myself, and was ending up doing well in things, and attracting people too.

I’ve learnt pranayam, kriya etc. before. I’ve attended yoga sessions before. But this time, I experienced some very subtle, seemingly simple, basic but profound exercises, especially observing the order of your chest and stomach rising while breathing in and out, and observing what felt right. I was at ease, in the present, and… spending time really with myself.

The other massive takeaway was Saunskruti’s exercises to help me realize how terribly I was talking to myself by default. Over the few days, I understood that the most important and basic thing is that I am good enough, and reiterating that for myself, and being willing to think differently about myself.

It wasn’t a workshop which needed 8–12 hour sessions each day. But whatever it was, when I look back, I recollect it with a sense of thairaav.

I may be the same age as Saunskruti, but it certainly didn’t feel like it.
I’d like to end with two things.I would often feel I was capable of pissing any therapist or yoga teacher off beyond a point by getting anxious or impulsive with my what-ifs, or feeling impulsive about suddenly going somewhere in order to feel happy or better. I was worried that would happen with Saunskruti, but she was patient and with me throughout my thought journey, and I am incredibly grateful and relieved to her for being that way, for creating and maintaining that pace.

It felt like we became friends by the end of the session, but I also see a guru tattva in her.

One final thing, she’s one person who understands both yogic practices and philosophy as well as mental health from a therapy or even psychiatrist perspective… she doesn’t diss one or the other, and honestly that’s such a relief! She understands where each has its place, and I didn’t feel judged or pushed for my choices of working with myself.

All in all, her retreat and the practices she gave me were customized to me, with the necessary understanding that I also need to see what works for me, and also helping me with how or in what circumstances someone like me with anxiety etc. may attempt more intense meditations like Vipassana etc.

She’s kind, she’s strong, and I also see a guru tattva in her. Some day I hope to do another session and maybe even go deeper into yogic practices guided by her.

Did I feel the retreat was transformational? Yep.
Of course, I got tools and resources from there which I need to continue, and which I want to build on.

Thank you so much, Saunskruti.

I don’t have many memories from my childhood. I am surprised when I hear stories from my elder sister, or my parents or my Godparents about the nascent years I was growing up. But I strongly remember the Kher’s. And Saunskruti. And their beautiful German Shepherd, Fangs. I remember jeep drives from Bombay (where I grew up) to their home in Nashik with my Godmother and Saunskruti’s younger sister Saiyami. And living with Sauns and her parents and paternal grandfather at their home – that was always meant to feel like mine. I didn’t grow up knowing any distinction between “blood” family and “chosen” family.

I realized when older that chosen family always had a one up. No drama. No paperwork. Only love and the promise to have each others back.

The Kher’s starting Utopia was natural. It was the way of the things. It had to have happened.

Saunskruti finding her way into Yoga Psychology was beautiful. At least for me. 

In my later adult years I took a superficial week off to visit their farmstay and take a break from the mundane to do the “Shanti”
course with Saunskruti. 

Through my course with Sauns –
I woke up on time. I showed up physically – always. But that wasn’t enough. Saunskruti was not satisfied. She wanted more of me that I had subconsciously sealed up. And after my walls being so carefully chipped away by her the fifth day into it, she finally unravelled something real from me. Not a conscious effort from me to reveal it, but a final give in because she couldnt accept anything less.

Months later – I still go back to my time with her in my mind. The words she spoke, the thoughts she evokes, the perspective she enlightened. And I am till date, grateful. And eternally will be.

However – I still hope to live up to who she sees and genuinely believes in me. 

Time will tell. But I know I’ll always have her to fall back on no matter what course I’ll take. And that’s a security far beyond blood, family or words.

When I decided to take on Saunskruti’s retreat ‘Shanti’ at Utopia, I had read all the details about it on her website to prepare myself mentally. I didn’t want to over prepare, but wanted to be aware of what I was going to be doing for the next week. A couple of days into it and I realized that no amount of preparedness could have possibly equipped me for what this journey was doing to me. I was fascinated and at the same time overwhelmed by Saunskruti’s teachings, and hence I decided to be patient and trust the process. I hoped for something to shift, not knowing what I exactly wanted. When I started, I had decided that I would be completely honest with Saunskruti, but very soon I realized that the real challenge was to not be honest with someone else, but to be honest with my own self. Over the next few days, I kept unwrapping and discovering layers of me that I didn’t even know belonged to me. Some came easier to accept than others. But it all came together when I realized the actual purpose of the whole week, on day six. It was only then that I truly understood what Saunskruti had tried to explain on her website.

‘Shanti’ did exactly what it promised to, and much more. It was a week for me to reflect, release and reset. One of the most beautiful takeaways from the week was the idea of ‘sitting with something’. I learnt that it was me who eventually held the power to answer questions that I had for myself. But that came after a lot of hand holding and guidance from Saunskruti.

She had thoughtfully curated the course of this seven day retreat and navigated it in a direction that felt very organic in nature by the last day. It felt like it was designed for me.
There were many difficult moments, but how I felt by the end of it was a feeling that is very difficult to explain in words. It is best only experienced. Afterall, something had shifted by the end of it, for me.

As I write this a week after I have come back, I know how badly I want to hold onto everything the week has taught me. That week definitely has been one of the most meaningful experiences I have had in my life.

Over the course of seven days, Saunskruti became a force that steered me, pushed me and made me see myself in ways I had never before. And for that, I will forever be grateful.

The Shanti retreat was nothing short of amazing. Saunskruti curated the entire schedule according to my needs. The food was home cooked, nutritious as well as delicious. Each day was different, and I kept learning and unlearning certain patterns about myself. 

It was a much needed break for me as well as a perfect opportunity to centre and calm myself. I highly recommend taking this retreat whoever is looking to understand oneself and learn more about yoga and meditation.